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Monday, August 22, 2011

I Hope TruGreen Chemlawn Has a Good Hearing Plan

Well, I told you in my bio that I would cover some instances where people got what my wife calls "the wrath of Corey".  This one reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry gets a telemarketer call.  It went something similar to this.


Telemarketer-Hello, I was wondering if you would be interested in switching over to TMI for your long distance carrier.

Jerry-Gee, I can't talk right now.  Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later.

Telemarketer-Uh, we're not allowed to do that.

Jerry-I guess you don't want people calling you at home.


Jerry-Well now you know how I feel.

You can watch it here.

Mine involves some profanity though.  It occurred probably about 1999 when I was still on night shift.  I got off work at 7 a.m., got the kids ready for school and then took them.  Usually about 9 a.m., I was wound down enough to go to sleep.  One Monday, the phone rang at 11 a.m.  It was TruGreen Chemlawn with a sales pitch.  This was before the "Do Not Call" list and you had to physically ask them to be taken off the list (which I did).  I politely hung up after my request.  Well, Tuesday rolls around and I get another call in the morning.  I am still polite at this point and remind them that yesterday, I asked to be taken off the list.  Wednesday morning hits and guess what, another call followed by one Thursday and Friday.  By Friday, all bets are off.  People asked my why I didn't just take the phone off the hook.  As I stated, I had small children in school and a wife that worked in Bloomington.  I had to be accessible.  Anyway, on Friday's call, I picked up the phone, listened to their pitch very politely.  Then, I acted very interested.  I kept talking like I was going to give them a big deal.  Then I said, "Are you listening?  Listen really closely now.  You can't screw this order up.  You listening really closely?"  "Yes," they said. Then I screamed "F********************K  YYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!" into the phone as loudly and slowly as humanly possible before slamming down the receiver.  This may seem harsh to some people but you know what, it ended the perpetual loop of calls that were waking me up every day.  I also filed a report with the Better Business Bureau.  A few years later, I was out trimming my bushes and they stopped their truck and walked up to give me a sales pitch.  I told them that I absolutely hate their company and that I turned them in to the Better Business Bureau, so just keep walking.  If the guy had a hearing aid, I might have been guilted into listening to his pitch.

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