As you probably guessed, this is the next installment of a bad customer service experience. About 4 years ago, I purchased a Nextar GPS and LOVED it. I proclaimed it the greatest invention of all time, slightly ahead of the wheel. . .
and the Chia Lionel Richie.
We named her Trudy (you have to name your GPS). And, oh the voice. That sweet, sweet melodic voice with that accent unfamiliar to any language spoken in the world (kinda like Arnold Schwarzenegger). I would hold her stylus as we would prance through meadows of rustling daisies.
I mean sure we had our bickerings like when she would constantly nag me to "Make a U-Turn if possible" but for the most part, we got along great. As the years rolled on, she became a little less sure of herself and her routes. Sometimes, there were newer roads that she didn't even know about so I decided to give her the GPS equivalent of a "boob job" and get her the updated map. I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this because the update cost $75 on a $100 GPS but I already knew how to use this one and it was very user-friendly. It made it onto my Christmas list and I got it as a combined present from my parents and siblings. Excitedly, I installed it but really had no trips planned to give it a test. Finally, in May, we flew out of Indianapolis for California. She did not do so well. If I could get her to speak at all, it was a miracle. That was not like her. When I got to California and was driving from San Diego to Los Angeles, Trudy inexplicably started taking me off and right back on EVERY exit of a huge traffic jammed artery along the way. About the 3rd time of this, I realized what she was doing and shut her down. I was on my own now in a major city with no directions. Lastly, I realized that she was not picking up my new location. In other words, when I arrived at my destination, she still showed me as being where I left from. When I returned home, I called the Nextar customer service and after a 45 minute wait was immediately met with "Why did you wait so long to report this (4 1/2 months)?" I explained that I got it for Christmas but had no trips planned until now, so I had no real reason to use it. At first, it went well and they told me to send it back and they would fix it for free. I promptly sent it back to them and a month later, it came back. I excitedly opened the package and tried it out. It was not fixed at all and in fact, still showed me as being in California when I turned it on. I mean, sure, I wish I was still in California, but I wasn't. It was unfortunate because it was now softball season where I could really be using it. I also had tried to just put my old map back in but the geniuses made it so that once you put in a new map, there is no going back to the old map. The old map still gives you directions but no voice commands if you put it back in. So, I got back on the horn to Nextar and after a 45 minute wait, I convinced them to just send me a replacement. Another month goes by and a package arrives. I tear it open in anticipation and there it is, my old GPS staring back up at me. 45 minutes later, I am talking to the person I had talked to before that promised me a new GPS and the conversation went almost exactly like this.
Corey-"You told me that you were sending me a new GPS because you guys turned my old one into a paper weight."
Customer Service-"We didn't turn your old one into a paper weight."
Corey-"Well, not for free. You charged me $75 to turn it into a paper weight."
Customer Service-"It's not a paper weight."
Corey-"Your map update completely destroyed it, thus turning it into a paper weight."
Customer Service-"We didn't purposely turn your GPS into a paper weight."
Corey-"Regardless, that is what it is now, a paper weight. You also told me that you were sending me a new one and today, I just received my old paperweight back in the mail."
Customer Service-"Yeah, we had a meeting and decided to do away with the replacements."
This is where if this were a cartoon, your hand would be cramping from typing all of the "!@#$%^&!@##$%^!@#$%^". The following is what I screamed at the top of my lungs but in reality, you would have to insert a cuss word in between each word in the sentence.
Corey-OH, YOU HAD A MEETING. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GIVE REPLACEMENTS FROM HERE ON OUT, THAT IS FINE. BUT, YOU NEED TO HONOR YOUR COMMITMENT TO THE PEOPLE YOU HAVE ALREADY TOLD THIS TO.
Customer Service-"Sir, why are you yelling?"
Corey-"BECAUSE YOU TURNED MY GPS INTO A PAPER WEIGHT AND NOW ARE LIARS TO BOOT."
Customer Service-"We are not liars."
Corey-"Did you tell me that you were giving me a new GPS?"
Corey-"Now are you telling me that you are not giving me a GPS?"
Corey-"You do know what lying is, right?"
Customer Service-"Yes. Hold on a minute."
There was a brief break in the yelling and then she came back.
Customer Service-"Okay, we will send you an unopened one but it probably will be an older model than the one you had."
Fantastic. So, basically my $75 update got me a lesser model GPS with an older map. Money well spent. I could not believe that it took all of that to get what I was promised in the first place. I really couldn't believe all of the discussion about whether my GPS was in fact now a paper weight.
The new one came a month later when softball season was over. It is very user-unfriendly but at least it works. The only benefit it has over the old one is that it has games on it. It still is a giant U-Turn nag. I really don't like this different model at all. Maybe I'll just buy an update and turn it into a paper weight.