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Friday, September 23, 2011

And New From Crayola. . . . .

Remember when you were a kid and were jealous of those rich bastards that had a sharpener on their crayon box?  Let's face it.  You make a comfortable living.  Wouldn't you like to show it off?  What better way to say "Hey, I've made it" than the new Crayola Showoffs ® 10,000 Pack.

Nothing will let your kids say "I'm better than you" to their friends than to walk in to the first day of kindergarten with the new 10,000 Pack.  Just tell them not to drop their arm to point and laugh at the poor, little sap with the 8 count box or they may be crushed to death by their Crayola Showoffs ® 10,000 Pack.  Crayola is not responsible for accidents.  It comes with the old standards like Aqua and Peach.  But with this many colors, we had to make subtle variations to fill the box.  We now don't just have Blue-Violet, but also have Violet-Blue.

We didn't stop there.  Our color team came up with all new color combinations, like Red-Blue-Green-Yellow-Violet-Brown and every combination of that, as well as many new colors like Thai Food Toilet Green.  Hell, the last 100 crayons are just clear because we ran out of ideas.
So, show that smug graduating class of yours who was actually the most likely to succeed and run out and get your new Crayola Showoffs ® 10,000 Pack today.  Crayola Showoffs ® 10,000 Pack Transport Wagon sold separately.

Coming soon, Crayola Homeys ® with all new urban colors.  Kids from South Side to South Central will kill for them.

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