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Friday, September 16, 2011

Good God, Anything Else?!

So I was watching t.v. the other day and this commercial came on.  Watch the 1st minute.

Did ya happen to get the list of those side effects.  My God is this a case of the cure being worse than the disease or what?   Hey pal, just take it.  It only could possibly cause negative side effects to your face, mouth, lips, gums, tongue, neck, breathing, skin, and eyesight.  You may also experience muscle pain, fever, suicidal thoughts, tiredness, dizziness, sleepiness, weight gain, and swelling of the hands, legs, and feet.  Well hot diggity damn doc, is that all?  It doesn't say anything about my asshole closing up and reopening as a vagina so son of a bitch, give me 3 years worth.  Hope I don't commit suicide before I'm cured.  Well, I guess that would fix the problem then wouldn't it?  Not sure that's exactly what the FDA had in mind when they approved the drug though.  If I do happen to live, then I am going to be one ugly, bloated, sleepy, disoriented, depressed son of a bitch.  At least it doesn't cause homicidal tendencies.  Could you imagine?  Every working serial killer would find a way to get prescribed this.

JUDGE-"Mr. Scott, you brutally murdered 28 people and left a Lincoln Log sticking out of the pancreas of the last victim.  Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

SERIAL KILLER-"I was on Lyrica."

JUDGE-"Well, why didn't you say so?  Get the Hell out of here ya' old knucklehead."  (judge tussles serial killer's hair)

Serial killer starts to exit courtroom.

JUDGE-"Hey Scott, wait.  You almost forgot your Lincoln Log.  Oh yeah.  And try not to serial kill anymore."

That Lyrica commercial is so much like that old Saturday Night Live commercial for Happy Fun Ball that it is almost hard to tell which one is the parody.

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