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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I Guess I Really Am Clark Griswold

We won a video contest from the Downer, Downer, Downer guy at This Is It Furniture in Champaign with this video. . .


So within about 6 months of each other, we will have went to the happiest place on Earth . . .

and the the not so happiest place on earth.  Downright miserable in fact.

I'd just rather have the corn, actually.  I didn't know there was a choice.  As you can tell, I wasn't a big fan.  We went there early in the Summer for a 5 day trip and rented an expensive cabin.  

And as you can see by expensive, I just mean in cost only, not luxury.  I am not going to get into the specifics of that trip because you can read about that trip's dissatisfaction here (the first one on the page is mine)

and here (the first one on the page is mine).

This blog is actually about my whole new level of dissatisfaction from this past weekend.  Even though I hated this place, Lukah, Cal, and I drove over early Saturday morning to go to the park and then camp that night in a tent.  Our accommodations were MUCH nicer this time.

 Why would I go back you ask?  It's simple.  We had season passes and since it was a fairly short drive, I figured we may as well try to get some of our money back from the ripoff of the first time.  Friday night, I checked the Indiana Beach website to make sure everything was good for our trip.  Saturday morning we took off bright and early.  I don't know if it was an omen or what, but we got stopped by a train in the EXACT same spot that made us change our route the last time we went.  Callahan even joked, "What if we get there and it was closed?"  We chuckled.  "I forgot about the time difference.  I wish we would have left earlier so we would have a whole day at the park," I exclaimed.  You may be able to guess what happened next.  Everything seemed eerily quiet as we turned on the final road.  It was just like all of those Scooby Doo's where they wound up at abandoned amusement parks.  We pulled up to the gate and were met with this.

It was exactly like that scene from the best movie ever made, Vacation.


I had often been compared to Clark Griswold because of my Christmas light display but now, I had a whole other reason.  No, I didn't go purchase a BB gun.  The kids were amazed that I didn't flip out.  I just chuckled.  It was par for the course for this shithole and was just so absurd, I just took comfort in knowing that I would never be back.  With Tesla singing "Sign's, sign's, everywhere are signs" throughout my brain, we drove on to Wal-Mart for supplies.   Here is a dissatisfied customer of roughly my same height, weight, age, and address making up their own f**king sign.  For legal purposes, we will just call him Morey Mase.

Not surprisingly, the sign was down by the end of the day.  We camped there that night so the trip wasn't a complete bust.  Plus, that allowed me, uh I mean Morey, to hang another sign before we left on Sunday.

I hated even staying at the campground because it is owned by Morgan RV Resorts who also own that shithole amusement park, but we needed a place to stay.  There was at least the most expensive miniature golf course in the world ($6 a person for 1 round) with large, hairy rodents running around freely next to the holes.

Evidently there was also some other disgruntled customers as well, because I do not think that this is the normal place to build your campfire.  I am really proud of myself for getting through that last sentence without using the obvious phrase "happy camper" in a sarcastic way.

Here is just a fun little ending to the post.  See if you can guess which are Indiana Beach resorts and which are Cancun, mexico resorts. 

ANSWER KEY-The Indiana Beach resorts are "S, H, I, T".


  1. it only gets worse for anyone going near anything owned by Morgan Moser.
    Read jaw droppers at

  2. Yeah. I have been on that site before and read them. That is the worst run place I have EVER been to. I am dumbfounded as to how that place can stay open. It just has to be the nostalgia factor for some people, I guess.