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Saturday, September 10, 2011


If any of you shop at Dollar General in Clinton, then you have to be as SICK TO DEATH as I am of being asked to give your change for literacy.

I have never given my change to literacy and for the thousandth time, I will never give my change to literacy.  I don't care if one of those adorable little Dicken's peasants was standing there with a book and a moth eaten hat to drop change into, I am not giving mine to literacy.

Bah humbug.  I don't know what "donate for literacy" means and I don't want to know what "donate for literacy" means.  Let them buy their own damn books.  I think I'm going to get a shirt made that I can put on and point to every time I go in there.

I have had 98 cents coming before and they ask me if I want to donate it.  Now, doesn't that defeat my whole purpose of going to the damn Dollar store to begin with?  That would totally deplete any savings that I might have incurred by shopping there as opposed to Wal-Mart where I am not asked to fork over any silver coming my way.  All of my coinage by the way goes into the console of my Jeep and then it is cashed in every year at vacation time for our extra spending and souvenir money.  You wouldn't believe the amounts that this has gotten me.  Let's just say "hundreds" every year to not encourage too much any would be thieves that might happen to be perusing my blog.

Sometimes when I refuse their offer to relieve me of that cumbersome change, I get a look that is supposed to shame me.  Today, I think they took it to the next level.  The cashier said, "And here's your change, 31 cents" and then handed it to me.  I took one step away from the register and looked down at 11 cents in my hand.  I'm not too sure it wasn't a "We'll get that cheap bastard's literacy change one way or another".  They were not getting away with this, so I turned around and told her that she said 31 cents but only handed me 11.  Now, I'm good at math, but I am dumbfounded as to how a math problem of this caliber can completely throw an adult.  There were many options to get me the Hell out of that store.  You could hand me 20 more cents or possibly take back 1 of the nickels and hand me a quarter.  The possibilities were endless.  So, what happens you say?  She takes back all of my change and just kind of scoops her hand in the drawer and hands me 49 cents for some reason.  Turns out there was another way to get me out of that store.  Give me MORE change than what I had coming back.  Take that literacy.  Little Timmy in the hood ain't readin shit tonight.  Yes, I did keep it.  I wasn't going to stand there all day while she tried to figure out how to make 31 cents.  I wasn't sure if it was a math problem or a money problem but if you can't do 2nd grade math, then maybe you shouldn't be a cashier and if you can't count money, then maybe you shouldn't be a cashier.  Don't get me wrong.  I don't mind people helping people but don't make it an EXPECTATION from me.  Also today, believe it or not, I couldn't believe I had the wrong change thing go in MY FAVOR for once.  I was buying an $8 sticker for the car and was given back $3 change from my $10.  I would like to think that she was just being nice rather than that she couldn't subtract 8 from 10.  Yes, I kept that too.  I had wasted enough of my day on the money illiterate.  Here's a thought.  Maybe Dollar General should give up on the literacy and set a change bucket out for math instead.  Then I might donate.

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