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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

No, It's Not Soap On A Rope

When Vegas was younger, I got accustomed to cleaning up all sorts of interesting colored and textured poop.  There was a lot of crayon eating at that time because the children were much younger as well.  I saw many a pile of poop that looked as such.

Do you see the Burnt Sienna and the Midnight Blue?  Anyone feel like chocolate ice cream with sprinkles?  The absolutely most bizarre and equally disturbing poop fiasco though occurred at our old house.  At this house, we had a deck to the backyard off of our bedroom.  This is where we let the poop factory in and out from.  One day, I heard the scratching to come in and when I opened the door, Vegas was just a blur running by.  I caught a small glimpse of something following him rather closely but could not register what it was in his fury.  By the time I got into the living room where he was, he was literally doing flips up the wall.  This is not him but it was just like this.


I chased him down and tackled him several times but it was like trying to catch a fart in a jar as he kept escaping.  The whole while, I could still see something not quite right with the caboose area.  Finally, I got him in a headlock and could see the problem.  He had unraveled and ate the string from a baseball.  Sticking out of his butt was a long string with a turdball stuck to the end of it.  So in what would become a rather disgusting offshoot of the spaghetti and meatball scene from Lady and the Tramp, I wrapped my hand with a paper towel.  

I got the dog out on the deck and "helped" the situation.  To not be too gross, let's say that unplugged the drain and everything was then allowed to and DID flow freely (all over the deck).  Looking back, I'm not really sure why I didn't take him to the yard but hindsight is 20/20.  This is kinda what he looked like.

But he didn't really smile until afterwards.  Me?  I'm still trying to smile about it.

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