"They were only stuck 3 hours. Not really sure why they started eating right away since they had just left Panda Express. And why did that guy just happen to have barbecue sauce?"
-Roger Ebert, Chicago Tribune
"They were in a glass elevator for Christ's sake. They could see the repairmen working on it."
-Gene Shalit, Today Show
"I go to my Scoliosis doctor tomorrow."
-Andy Rooney, 60 Minutes