Don't you waste enough of your life on hygiene with all of the "showers" and "teeth brushing"? You'll now be able to give even wiping your butt a half-assed attempt as our new sprays are designed to mask almost any unpleasant odor coming from any disgusting area of the body. So get your new. . .
AXE SPECIFICS ®
Haven't we all been in this situation?
We just innocently bend over at the grocery store for some Cinnamon Toast Crunch at the exact same time a little person walks by and they get a whiff of what toilet paper and a shower left behind. Isn't it time we think of the little people for a change and what is at their nasal height? Our B.O. professionals have been working out extra hard to put our professional smellers to the test.
Due to these extraordinary efforts, we came up with Axe Specifics®. I mean how can a spray chemically mixed to fight armpit odor be expected to fight the same battles with say-an ass? It's simple. It can't. If any of you have ever smelled an armpit and then an asshole right afterwards (Don't judge me. College was an experimental time, okay), you will find out that the asshole smells much worse and should have a different formula for cover up spray. So stop worrying about over-wiping and bend over in front of little people with confidence. Watch your toilet paper bills reduce drastically as you no longer have to worry about getting every last kernel of corn or peanut rind.
But, we didn't stop there. Recently, someone was talking to me and as they spoke, they dug their finger into their belly button, pulled it out, and smelled it without even breaking speech. Their insecurity sent us back to the drawing board to come up with a belly button scent. Now, the next time you are on a date and things are starting to get steamy, you can confidently tell her to smell your belly button thus sealing the deal to a night of passion.
So run, don't walk to your local drugstore and get your Axe Specifics® body spray today. Look for little people first if it's on the bottom shelf, though, unless you have already used Axe Specifics Asshole®. Coming soon. . . Axe Specifics Feet® and Axe Specifics Taint®. So go ahead, run that marathon. Then come home and give your feet and taint a spritz and then you and that area under your balls are ready for a night on the town.