or the the biggest
Not to seem like a total little girl, I can flap one out the back end with the best of 'em. Not quite as good as. . .
but better than this. . .
Someone once told my wife that they made a rule in their marriage to leave the room when the urge came upon them to fog out of either end. This seemed like a good plan so we adopted it as our own. For awhile, everyone obliged and the main living areas of the house were a pleasant sounding and smelling place to be. As time wore on, "exceptions" started becoming commonplace. For instance, if we were in a car, then an individual could let fly. We don't need any internal fart tummy aches to dampen a vacation. Then the excuses got weaker and weaker. If a person is sneezing, they can't be held accountable for whatever shoots from any orifice of the body. Finally, it is to the point where "I'm already sitting down" is an exemption. The one rule that overrides all exemptions however is if someone is eating. So if you do not want to hear any of these noises while you are eating, you need to broadcast VERY LOUDLY ahead of time that you are about to eat.
This lead to all new arguments, however, like if sucking on an ice cube or drinking a beverage really counts as eating for instance. Someone forgot to tell the dog the rule all along. Somehow just because he only understands the word "Treat", he got out of the whole thing. And he is the worst habitual offender of all of us. He's almost as bad as (You HAVE to watch this one) . . . .
OMG! Forget the dutch oven. Now that all bets are off, the next time Andi pisses me off, she just may get a "Cup o cheese", as long as she's not eating of course.