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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

And New From Pop Tarts. . .

Are you ever sad when you finish a Pop Tart at breakfast and realize that you won't get another one until the next day's breakfast?  Do you often think, "Man, they could cram a turd in there and I'd eat it"?  Well, today's your lucky day.  We didn't put fecal matter in there, but the next best thing.  We are sure you will enjoy our new. . .

I'm sure that sometimes you sit down at a restaurant and feel overwhelmed by all of the choices and work ahead of you with all of that "silverware lifting" and all.  Those days are over when you buy our new Pop Tarts 3 Course Meals Mexican®.

Not in the mood for Mexican.  Then hightail it back across the border for Pop Tarts 3 Course Meals Steak Lovers®.  That's right, start off with the Onion Blossom appetizer, move your way to the Sirloin Tips, and then finish the whole thing with a Snicker's bar all wrapped up in our tidy pastry shell coated with vanilla frosting and sprinkles.

Still not doing it for ya'?  Then try our Pop Tarts 3 Course Meals Fish Fanatics®.  Don't let your kids eat the white cake side first or they might still be tasting the cream cheese frosting as they bite into their pan-seared tilapia and starter salad.

Our Board of Directors came to us a while back wondering how we could make America unhealthier at three meals a day instead of just one.  So, we ran to our drawing boards and came up with Pop Tarts 3 Course Meals®.  Problem solved.  We are proud to offer so many options.  Of course, we had to run it by our toughest critics-THE KIDS.  We were unhappy with the results but after offering free Xboxes to those kids that participated, our results surprisingly improved dramatically.  Here is an actual kid enjoying a Tato Skin, meat loaf, chocolate ice cream Pop Tart.

And coming soon, new Pop Tarts Leftovers®.

Our mouth is watering and I am sure your eyes will be as you bite into our new Wheat Pop Tart stuffed chock full of all of our factory leftovers that have been mashed into a fine paste, lightly dusted with garlic powder and a perfectly legal bleaching agent and topped with Funfetti frosting.  ENJOY!


  1. Thanks. I think I did too many, too fast and got kind of burned out. I still post some occasionally and will get totally back into it someday.