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Thursday, April 19, 2012

What The Hell Did You Just Say?

My old college roommate that I have previously mentioned in another blog about telling pointless stories, also made another social gaffe one time.  He actually made the mistake of saying to a group of college guys that had been drinking and watching a movie together that "nudity would have cheapened the movie".  Now, I don't even remember what the movie was or what girl was in it that we all evidently were wanting to see naked, but the repercussions from that one statement dragged on for the whole school year.  He ended up transferring to a whole different school an hour away after that year and I am not too sure the harassment that ensued from that statement alone wasn't the cause.  It got to the point where if he was in the room and you were even watching The Golden Girls, you still had to make a "Boy, the only thing that could make this show better was if that Bea Arthur was naked but I wouldn't want nudity to cheapen the show" comment.

Let's put it this way.  To a bunch of horny, drunk college guys, THERE IS NO MOVIE OR TV SHOW IN THE WORLD THAT COULDN'T BE IMPROVED WITH SOME GOOD FULL FRONTAL OR EVEN SIDAL NUDITY.  Let me clarify, of the female persuasion that is.  Certainly not ugly, hairy male nudity.  That's  just sick and no one wants to see that.  Oh my God.  In searching for a Bea Arthur picture for this post, I came across a topless painting of BEA ARTHUR.

Now where did I put that eye gouger.  Anyways, saying his comment is almost like saying that a movie would be better without cussing.  Can you imagine some of the greatest movie lines without cussing?  Well, we have all seen them be tragically ruined on television.  I remember seeing the scene from Weird Science where the hottie then Kelly LeBrock chews out Anthony Michael Hall's parents.

In this scene, she later says "candle wax on the nipples".  The sensor demons changed it to "candle wax on the pimples" for t.v.  Uh.  Excuse me. Huh?  That takes what was supposed to be an erotic line and makes it absolutely disgusting.  Oh, and would this former roommate tell me this movie would have been better without this scene. . .

NOT HARDLY!  And one of my favorite lines ever from a movie that set the tone for the whole thing would definitely have lost something in the translation.

"Beer is like, f**kin' great, ya know."  How cool is that?  What's he supposed to say?  "Beer has great flavor and it is favorable to my palette."  Not the same.  And television completely ruins the "F word scene" by Steve Martin shown in my previous blog from the movie Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.  Christmas Vacation has a great Griswold meltdown that is best served with swearing as well.

or the original Vacation meltdown.

So let it be known you filmmakers.  Load em' up with all of the swearing nudists that you want, we'll all still watch and be thrilled about it.  Well, all but one.  Love ya' old roomie, wherever you are.

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