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Monday, May 28, 2012

Orlando Disney Pics I Promised You Months Ago

The highlight of Cal's trip before we even left.  Hopefully this curbed his Denny's obsession for the rest of the trip.  We refer to this place as Walt Denny's World, the 2nd happiest place on Earth.

All tucked in and leaving Denny's for Bloomington airport.  All those damn luggage restrictions have forced us to pack a family of 5 down to a mere 5 suitcases and 5 carry-ons.  How do they sleep at night knowing that we didn't have room to pack our extra extra deck of playing cards and had to pack a 6"oscillating fan instead of a 12".

One of the hazards of traveling during the school year.  The kids doing homework in the airport.  What the Hell else they gonna do?  You can only look at a display of Adlai Stevenson's 3rd grade book report on To Kill a Mockingbird so many times.

It's 1100 miles to Orlando, we got a full plane of gas, half a pack of jerky, it's dark, and I'm wearing sunglasses. . . .Hit it!  (anyone ever seen the Blues Brothers)

Jet lag or just lazy, you be the judge.  All checked in at Old Key West resort and the slackers get to just lounge and wait for the SuperBowl to start while poor mommy and daddy have to go grocery (beer) shopping.

1st land, 1st park, 1st day at the Magic Kingdom.  Hey jackass with the baby, quit flexing in my picture!

The family enthralled on the Ellen's Energy Adventure ride.  Oh the irony of this public display on an "energy" ride.

Cal, Lukah, and Mikah on Main Street at the Magic Kingdom.  Look at the very out of place, perfectly rectangle building in the background.  It is Disney's way to not ruin the effect of the perfect Main Street while they do maintenance.  They completely cover the whole building in a tarp with a picture of a building.  On a similar note, do they sell Brad Pitt tarps that I can cover myself in? 

Obama looks pretty pissed at Andi's not so enthused take on his assessment of the current state of affairs.  I bet this is what happened with our real forefathers.  Can't you just here George at the Continental Congress-"Goddammit, Patrick Henry, wake your lazy ass up and pass that parchment!"

There is actually cool movie memorabilia to look at while in line for rides at Disney Hollywood Studios.  No, it's not Superman's phone booth.  It's way cooler than that.  It's Bill and Ted's from their great adventure.  Can anyone say So Crates (Socrates)?

Or how about the Binford riding mower that Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor souped up on Home Improvement.  Bet it can mow your yard in 3 minutes flat, and your flowers, and your mailbox, and your. . . .

Maybe she needs Steven Tyler caterwauling directly into her ear instead of through that little speaker to keep her coherent on the Rockin' Roller Coaster.

Ah, back in the days when my boy still loved a hug and time spent with his papa.  Or as we like to call it, 3 months ago.

The whole family in line to ride Toy Story Mania at Disney.  How the Hell did whoever we asked to take a picture of us accidentally get Mr. Potato Head directly positioned to look like he was sitting on Andi and my shoulders?

Now on to the next resort that we paid for, not from the contest we won.  This was Port Orleans Riverside.  It was still very nice and we all only had to take 1 turn a day on the giant gerbil wheel there to make power for the resort.

Even Walt's ghost himself can't spark any interest from Andi in the Enchanted Tiki Room at the Magic Kingdom.

Hey, I think I've ridden that thing home from Snappers a few times.

A goat petting Lukah and Mikah.  And look at the firm, apple-bottomed Adonis behind them.

They need to just rename Dudley Do-Right's Ripsaw Falls "Hypothermia Haven" at Universal Studios.

Andi almost waking up on Tower of Terror.  Looks like the next "land" that boy in the blue shirt is gonna have to visit is "Tide Country" to get Andi's drool stains out.

No trouble holding still for this photo as we are frozen solid to the deck from the ride mentioned a couple of pics ago.

Landed safely back in Bloomington.  You just have to tucker them out this badly to not hear "He's touching me", "Yeah, but she gleeked on me", etc.  On a side note, Andi claims to have never gleeked.  What a freak.  The ironic part of this photo is that Andi actually was AWAKE to take it.  Okay, in all honesty, Andi actually only slept through the Hall of Presidents so I may have done some Photoshopping on a few of those pics.  In my goodness, I actually let her sleep through the boring movie part and then woke her when the screen was raised for the robotic presidents because that is the cool part.  Ha, so I thought.  I was met with a one-eyed, hazy dirty look, a small grunt, and an annoyed head turning.  Okay then President Ford, while you're handing out pardons to Nixon, could you also pardon me FOR TRYING TO WAKE MY WIFE at the climax of the show.  She will deny sleeping in the Enchanted Tiki Room or the Ellen Energy ride but I know I saw some head bobbing.  The kids will just flat out admit to snoozing in the Ellen one.  Hell, they didn't even try to hide it.  They just did a full on sprawl out on the benches.  We paid $5,000 for our "free" vacation and my family slept through it.  Also, I figure we ate 3 meals a day for 7 days.  That's a total of 21 meals and yet I shit 78 times.  I don't have to do that math.  I'm pretty sure I took a f**king on that deal, too.  We've been back for a few months now and are getting the itch for our next exhilarating trip.  We can really use the sleep.


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