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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

And New From Oreos . . .

If Oreo Double Stuf makes our cookies twice as good, we thought then why stop there?  You and your dentist will be thanking us for Oreo's new Twentyfold Stuf®.  It's 20 times as good!


Imaging the sparkle in your little one's eyes when you open the package and there are only 3 of those disgusting "tops" and 3 of those disgusting "bottoms" they have to endure to get their creamy prize.


Dip them in a cool glass of milk and instead of that repulsive chocolatey sludge that forms from the crumbly cookie parts, you will instead be met with a delicious cottage cheesy substance from the disintegrating cream.  


You will revel in watching the happiness on your child's face as they scarf down 10 times their daily sugar allowance in 1 cookie.


We then thought "Hey, dumbass, if 20 times the cream is 20 times better than a normal Oreo, then why not just get rid of that damn cookie all together?"  For everyone that ever said, "You know, these chocolate cream cookies would be pretty freakin' good if that chocolate cookie didn't get in the way".  It's new Oreo Only Stuf®.


That's right.  Our vanilly, whitish cream-like substitute comes right from our semi-clean factory vat, pumped into pastry bags ready to be squirted directly into your little loved one's mouth without all of the hassles of opening and discarding the outer cookie.  You will say "DELICIOUS!" but after a few rounds of our product, it will probably sound more like "DELITHYUTH!" depending on your dental plan.  (Oreo is not responsible for cavities or extreme hyperactivity.)





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