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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

And New From Ziploc®. . . .

Tired of being buried by large funeral expenses?  Does your loved one's coffin cost 3 times more than your house?  Well, we fine folks at Ziploc® came up with a solution.  So grab your cadaver and head to your nearest dollar store for . . .

Guaranteed to keep your loved ones fresh for all of eternity (as long as you get the zipper tabs lined up of course).  With 40 in a box, unless your last name is Duggar, you'll have enough to pass down from generation to generation.  They even come in various sizes.


You can get Herve Villechaize small all the way up to 70's Elvis extra large.  Just plop them in, zip them up, and throw them in the hole.


They are even freezer proof in case you are not quite ready to say goodbye to that special loved one.  (Ziploc® is not responsible for freezer-burned relatives).  Still not sold?  Looking for something a little more sturdy?  Well, Tupperware® has jumped on the bandwagon (or medieval "bring out yer dead cart") with us.


Once your loved one is placed inside, all you have to do is press on the lid until you hear the patented burp and waa laa, they will be just as fresh (or rotten) 400 years from now as they are today.


And look at how much joy your grief stricken children will have trying to get it to burp.  It truly puts the "FUN" back in "FUNeral".  The best thing is that when these are not being used to seal up your Great Aunt Margarets for all of eternity, they can keep a ton of pasta leftovers safe from mold and bacteria.  Hell, why even dump it if the grim reaper comes a callin'?  It makes a perfectly comfortable bedding for your corpse as they pass over into the next life.


With a plethora of multi-colored lids to choose from, it also makes a lovely display for the funeral.  Guests can even take a nibble to tide them over if they can't quite wait for the funeral dinner.  So put your credit card away, break out your coin purse and head to your nearest dollar store to purchase TODAY!

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