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Wednesday, July 3, 2013

And New From UNDEROOS® . . .

Remember how excited you were when you got your first pair of Underoos® and how you couldn't wait for that first sleepover so you could show them off?

Then remember how those bastards all beat you up for being the dork that wore Underoos® to a sleepover?  Well, guess what.  Getting mercilessly ridiculed for wearing Underoos® now doesn't have to be reserved just for childhood.  We are proud to introduce the new Underbrews® for adults.  Ever run out of coffee filters and going to the store to get more would require putting pants on?  So that's out.

That's right, it's the world's first underwear/coffee filter.  Kicking yourself for not thinking of it first, aren't you?  Well don't beat yourself off up, just remove underpants and pour desired amount of coffee in the coffee/testicle pouch.

Put in a standard coffee maker . . .

. . . brew for 4 minutes, and presto.  

You have a pot of something that tastes vaguely like coffee, urine, and ball sweat.  Then you just run the Underbrews® back through with plain water and no coffee to clean them for the next wearing.  What if you go to put them on and they look like this because you can't remember if you cleaned them after your last pot?

Don't worry, just brew another pot and I'm sure a quick taste will let you know if that stain is from coffee grounds or anal leakage.  So brew a pot, sit back and enjoy the fruits (of the loom) of your labor!

AND COMING SOON FROM THE UNDEROOS® FOOD DIVISION!  It's the new Fromunda Cheese and Crackers!

It "taint" just any 'ol snack.

"If it smells bad, then you know it's good."

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